According to the biblical story, God scattered mankind all over Earth and confounded their languages because they united to create an act of hubris, by attempting to build a tower – the Tower of Babel – that will reach the heavens. This diversity that divides mankind now is the basis of Babel, the movie. We see that the language of politics and the language of law divide and do not seek to understand. The language of compassion requires no words, just a gesture to seek to alleviate the pain of another, despite differences. Yet, to say “despite differences” is to miss the point. The differences didn't matter. And sometimes, the people who speak the same spoken language understands the least.
Sometimes, it feels that way for me too. I feel like a 386 PC in a world of Duo 2 Core computers. The endless chatter of some tires me. I can't focus. I can't think. I need time to mull over ideas. That pretty much summed up why I flopped the interview on Friday. I am a direct person. I can't follow all the meandering ways people take to get to a point. Yet, I don’t like direct confrontation of ideas. Or maybe I'm just afraid of my own voice. Afraid of saying something stupid. The cynical saying that it's better to say nothing and look stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it right, was in play. Maybe it’s the three and a half years in a place that doesn’t accept dissent. I think the secret creed the civil service lives by is conform or die.
I have always subscribed to the adage, live and let live. And don't be judgemental. But now, I'm being accused of not having a viewpoint. What does it mean to have a viewpoint? Is it so important? There are blogs out there that thrive on criticising and lampooning others. Sure, they have a view. But even the best of them sound a little tired sometimes, and the criticism they raised, unjustified. They're continuing in the same vein just to continue to get the same readership – and advertisers. Same old, same old. I don’t believed in criticism for its own sake. It is easier to criticise than to find the positive, to do something constructive about what’s bothering you.
So is being critical the same thing as having a viewpoint? "Criticism" was never meant to be negative though it has taken on a negative connotation. To criticise, you necessarily need a point of view; and everyone necessarily has his own unique point of view, coloured by one’s culture and experiences. To not say your point is really to retract and stop thinking, to coast through life like a zombie. So the question is do you want to claim your view and say what you think with no fear. Whether that view is negative or positive is another matter. But I think the interviewer was really looking for someone with an unconventional viewpoint. He jumped when I said that I think life is not just about getting a job, finding a partner and buying that flat: a voice that can stand out amidst the babel.
3 comments:
Always believe in yourself, never pretend to be someone you are not, and you will come out alright...
Profound profound! I hate interviews. Ironically, in my line where i'm constantly scrutinized by people for my ideas, my delivery, I'm like attending interviews all the time. The notion is the same, selling myself, selling my ideas. I always have to say what others like, not what i like. But if i can convince what i like to make it what they like, than it's deal. You don't have to agree with me, but for me, a balance is important to keep me sane. I can't be myself all the time. That is partly why i need my blog. Be someone else and sometimes come home to yell in my blog
Ms Sin - I never pretended to be something I'm not. I can't will myself to do that. But I guess I have been hiding myself, since voicing my opinion had landed me in disastrous situations before. And 3 and a half years of being treated like a third-class citizen (after the overseas and then the local scholars) can put a dent in your self-belief. And I need to conquer my nerves when going for interviews.
Ming - Totally understand what you mean. Actually, I feel that in every job, you're constantly selling yourself, whether it's your ideas or your ability, just a matter of what kind. And of course, it's better if you can say what you like rather than what others like.
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