I was flipping through a magazine at the clinic when I chanced upon the topic of the Advance Medical Directive (AMD) again. Signing the AMD informs the doctor treating you (in the event you become terminally ill and unconscious) that you do not want any extraordinary life-sustaining treatment to be used to prolong your life. I had told B a few months ago about my wish to sign the AMD and he protested.
"What if there is a cure in another country, even if there isn't one here?"
I told him a panel of three doctors have to agree that the patient is terminally ill - i.e. any life support provided is only postponing death - before the doctors would proceed to switch off life support. He is not convinced.
I told him that if the family disagrees with the panel, another panel of three doctors will be convened and again, all three doctors must agree unanimously that the patient is terminally ill, before they will carry out the patient's wish to terminate life support. Surely six doctors can't be all wrong?
He is still not convinced. "Maybe the doctors here are not aware of cures from alternative medicine in other countries.
I understand that when you love someone, it can be hard to let someone go. I understand that life is precious, and should be treasured. My question is, what kind of a life would the patient have, even if she is brought back from the brink of death? If it is going to be severely compromised, I'm not sure I want that. Especially if it could mean severely taxing my family's finances just to keep me alive; and a long-term emotional burden. I've seen enough documentaries where long-time caregivers said they almost wished that the person they are caring for would die, so that it's a relief for both parties. I don't want to be that person.
B said that, if he ever comes to that situation, he would leave me to make the decision. He trusts me to make the right decision. I hope I can be rational enough if it comes to that.
But I don't expect the person who has to make the decision for me to be rational enough at that point. If it comes to that, it's emotionally wrought as it is, without having to make the painful decision of whether to terminate life support. More likely than not, the family is likely to think that they're terminating a life, rather than the life support that is artificially prolonging life which is not there.
I don't know if I will ever be in that state, when that would be or who would be there when I do. But I would rather take matters into my own hands, than to leave a potentially very troubling decision to a large number of likely candidates.
"What if there is a cure in another country, even if there isn't one here?"
I told him a panel of three doctors have to agree that the patient is terminally ill - i.e. any life support provided is only postponing death - before the doctors would proceed to switch off life support. He is not convinced.
I told him that if the family disagrees with the panel, another panel of three doctors will be convened and again, all three doctors must agree unanimously that the patient is terminally ill, before they will carry out the patient's wish to terminate life support. Surely six doctors can't be all wrong?
He is still not convinced. "Maybe the doctors here are not aware of cures from alternative medicine in other countries.
I understand that when you love someone, it can be hard to let someone go. I understand that life is precious, and should be treasured. My question is, what kind of a life would the patient have, even if she is brought back from the brink of death? If it is going to be severely compromised, I'm not sure I want that. Especially if it could mean severely taxing my family's finances just to keep me alive; and a long-term emotional burden. I've seen enough documentaries where long-time caregivers said they almost wished that the person they are caring for would die, so that it's a relief for both parties. I don't want to be that person.
B said that, if he ever comes to that situation, he would leave me to make the decision. He trusts me to make the right decision. I hope I can be rational enough if it comes to that.
But I don't expect the person who has to make the decision for me to be rational enough at that point. If it comes to that, it's emotionally wrought as it is, without having to make the painful decision of whether to terminate life support. More likely than not, the family is likely to think that they're terminating a life, rather than the life support that is artificially prolonging life which is not there.
I don't know if I will ever be in that state, when that would be or who would be there when I do. But I would rather take matters into my own hands, than to leave a potentially very troubling decision to a large number of likely candidates.
3 comments:
Is there such a thing as a "living will" in Singapore?
Oops - sorry. The AMD is a living will. I think having one helps the care giver to make the right decision on your behalf.
That's my point. But B thinks it takes the decision making out of his hands and into the doctor's hands.
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